August 2001

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Vol. I Number 2

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Mad-trimonials and Marriages

By J.V.Ravichandran

Of girls either too modern or men too conservative.


J.V.Ravichandran

 

In Delhi, today, marriage has become a farcical affair. With most of the girls either too modern to fit the bill, for the below average Delhi groom, or too educated or too unreliably modern. Many a newspaper matrimonial column states that the girl is a "Java, Oracle girl" or she is a "MCSD, C girl"; the Indian bride may most probably go in for some heavy software development business after marriage ! For the bride, the Delhi groom is either "too immature" or "too conservative", or "too pretentious" or "too lying". 

 

According to a newly wed groom, people are too interested in getting things done quickly as "kundlis" and "pundits" based marriages have failed more often than not. Once a marriage takes place, leave the rest to God and destiny, say the parents of the groom & the bride. There is a great deal of hash modernity in India among the middleclass & specially among the higher class, especially in Delhi. Almost every girl, in her school or just out of school, is invariably, "too experienced" to suit the likes of "the romanticised and conservative" Delhi groom. Girls are spotted, more often than not, in compromising situations, with lower orders which raise the eyebrows of the locality, the neighbourhood and slowly the parameters that govern the Indian marriage schema changes. This is recounted by many a Delhi boy. 

 

The married, middle-aged man is too happy with the modern girl who is readily available on the roads and who accepts or takes a lift, with a ready smile, which is conspicuously missing when similar offers or occasion come from younger boys say young boys. Shocking incidents like a girl (under 15 years of age) living with a male servant (usually a bahadur) or running away with a bus driver or bringing home internet cafe assistants, late in night, at the pretence of either learning internet or on some maintenance context. The above are not some random incidents that take place once every year but daily, almost in every part of Delhi. One newspaper report has reported that almost 8 out of ten girls in Delhi's schools are either willing or are already into some form of interludes.

And the grounds of marriage is gradually shaken up by such incidents due to the above factors. An unbelievable fact in Delhi, today, is that for sheer nonsensical, broken English spoken by the lower orders, girls are willing to give lavish company to these lower orders which ultimately & unfortunately ends in a disaster for many concerned with the girl. Due to the resultant negative factors, in India, for such girls, a groom has to be quickly arranged for and the marriage has to take place immediately. And again, due to haste, the girl is unceremoniously handed over to the groom who then proceeds to unceremoniously handle her and finally, hand her over back to where she came from. More disaster, of course, follows.

The truth of the whole matter, as vouched by many in Delhi, including the police, is that girls (from the age of 15-28) have an extremely brazen attitude in public and their leanings are especially towards the lower orders. 

 

The reason for this leaning is stated as "We do not want to burden ourselves with criticism and comments passed by the educated boys. We would rather have the same kind of fun with these bahadurs, rickshaw pullers, bus drivers etc who are at least respectful towards us." A strange kind of a reason but heavily echoed in the words of the young school girls of DPS (according to a Times of India report which featured an interview with the former Commissioner of the Delhi police) who professed that, since "Movies in the PVR or Priya cinemas (premier cineplexes of Delhi) costs us nearly Rs. 200-300 per person for movie tickets plus Rs. 100-150 towards some food plus some Rs. 100-150 for conveyance back home from the movies, we make some good and easy money by letting some middle-aged man have fun with us, in his car, when we take a lift...".

 

Now, how can this aspect of the Delhi life, possibly affect the marriage scenario ? Well, it does. All these incidents have been openly seen and are openly conducted, right under the public's and the police's eyes, and the families or young men or boys, who can't make out between a school girl in jeans and a t-shirt and a college girl in jeans and a t-shirt and who witness young decent looking, girls getting out of cars, late in the night, in the middle of nowhere, get heavily affected by such sights and gradually change their opinions about marriage and girls. The girls who are extremely street smart, do the return back home publicly as it will give them more exposure and they make it to be a great marketing strategy used to rope in new customers from the group of onlookers, as may be !!

The Indian bride is going in for some massive changes in conventions and perceptions, both in marriage as well as in life.


Please address comments to -
mymails@jvravichandran.com
J.V.Ravichandran introduces himself: I am 34 years of age and live in New Delhi, India, and shortly moving to New Jersey, USA. I am a software developer, dramatist, poet, artistic director (I have directed 4 English plays). I have developed 4 computer games plus some business softwares namely, GREYcells Ludo, GREYcells Bricks, GREYcells Tic-Tac-Toe and GREYcells Brainvita plus GREYcells Accounts for manufacturing units, GREYcells instograf, GREYcells Speedsheet, GREYcells Independence and eDove.

I have dramatised Catch-22, the famous novel by Joseph Heller, which is available on my homepage. I have also written a book on C and C++ called "C+C++=EC" that too is available on my homepage. I have written a few poems too which are available on my homepage.

More details about me and my career can be found on my homepage at
http://Members.Spree.com/Business/Semantix.
My E-Maill ID - jvravichandran@yahoo.com.